working weekend again~

i am not satisfied by doing manual work!!!!!which could be done by anyone not being qualified as a professional (not trying to belittle this group of people, in fact, i respect them more than my own colleagues)
what i am saying is that i cant expect myself to do the same chores as them then feel inferior coz i wont be able to perform better than they do.
BECAUSE it's abt habituation! if it is manual work and u do it longer, u will be able to finish it fast and accurate like a robot!!!!!
BUTTTTT, this is not what i see myself doing HERE!
there must be some expectations and promises this opportunity is going to offer! come on!!!! i waited so long for it ! i didnt wat for nth, did i?
YESSSSSS, i am having trouble bridging the gap between my expectations and the reality here.
It's not anyone's fault that this gap exists or when this gap is actually getting bigger with time!
conditions and circumstances jz make it into what the reality is now!
However, i made lots of sacrifice and effort to get into where i am standing now
AM NOT GONNA QUIT WITH EMPTY HANDS!
I am responsible for my own learning!
they are not teaching, nvm! Learning from them isnt the only way to learn!
there are tonnes of ways to learn , why must I rely on them when they are not willing to??!
JUST skip ur excuses! You are responsible for ur own learning!!!!!
jia you!!!!

其实，现在嘲讽你的那些人，也只不过是想用另种方式来吸引你的注意
为何一定要Satisfy / impress them with Ur reaction?
U can choose to smile n ignore
Because u should focus on Ur own development

17/7/17

Is meant to be a special day.
Turned out that it was an ordinary day
But was a happy one. Grateful

我需要把重心拉回自己身上
未来我想变成怎样的人，今天我就得耕耘
别在乎身边的人如何评价
做好自己。。。因为我输不起未来
这些人只在你人生出现一会儿， 而你，因为被distracted所以赔上未来，值得吗？
我有梦想，我对自己有所期待
不管未来如何，这一刻，请对得起一路为了那个未来而奋斗了数十载的自己
不曾容易，但也不曾放弃
加油
#avoidcontact
#donotneedtoimpress
#bethebestthatucanbecozuneedachancetoshine
#ucandoit

"If you are nothing without the suit, you dont deserve it."

First outing with my colleagues~
watched Spiderman and had really nice dinner together
really grateful to have them. if i am going through this alone, i might go into depression seriously!
hahaha
long to go to finish this.....but we will be parted if we are finished here....
jz need to treassure our time together

"If you are nothing without the suit, you dont deserve it."
If the past was what defined the current me,
If that was all about me,
If I am only just that ...............................
I worked hard for tens of years in order to earn that opportunity
YES, i made it and i am still proud tat i did!
BUT THEY ARE ALL MY PAST NOW!
if i am only good once in my life, i am good for nth!
i need to work hard now to achieve what i expect for myself in the next 10-20 years
things never come to me easy,
if i can keep going and stop complaining, that's wat make me stronger than me at the moment
I need to ignore the rest and do a good job in what i expect myself to be good at

when i was given the greatest opportunity to learn, i felt stressful about it
Now tat i lost the chance, i felt regretful about it.
anyway, it's fate, i cant control if tat opportunity is mine!
However, compared to feeling regretful tat i miss an opportunity, I would rather feel stressful and learn sth
Hopefully this gave me a lesson too.....if there is a next time, at least i wont feel too stressful about having an opportunity

今早终于鼓起勇气多说话
一个年轻帅帅的病人先greeted 我
平时非常不耐烦的医生跟我开玩笑
(原来他也不是那么糟的人)
犯错时只被严厉地讲，但没被羞辱
虽然被讲得很凶， 但是她肯带我教我(真是万幸，只希望下次她看到我跟她同shift不会马上就换掉。。呵呵)
然后让个病人等了大概10分钟才发现有问题，可是我道歉后她也说对不起我那么忙还打扰我
(最有礼貌的，永远不是拥有很多的)
同事很礼貌客气地原谅我的失误(也不能用真的不懂来justify每个失误呀。。。赶快学!)

反正今天有好多好事。。。感恩
明天开始，24小时待命一个星期
好了，接下来一个星期会睡很少，现在先睡了!
加油!!!!不恐惧，勇敢面对，日子会变好的!

Second half of the year
First night shift of the month
Stressed!
So much to learn, so little time to learn....
Jia you!
Glad to hv learnt sth new during the shift though!