忙到~~~~~
不懂是不是我要的生活
但是，当一切结束前，享受这种没日没夜的忙吧

met with a strict doctor who is more concerned abt my health than i myself do
haha
surprised! but good doc he is
maybe, i should do more for my health
#determinedtostayhealthy

走在二楼， 眼看远方

整栋楼

两层

超长的楼

冷静，peaceful 的四方

有时候会莫名的感觉我是楼主

哈哈哈哈

但是要这片是我的，那该多好啊

Got a visitor today

我何德何能
她， 今天对我们苦口婆心

她， 职位很大，人很谦虚
听到她的名， 大概8-9成的人都会害怕
我听多了，见面前还真害怕
但是同事后，却发现她太值得她拥有的尊敬了！
WISE lady

今天很感动！
她很忙很忙，却安排时间对我们苦口婆心

1. 当你职位很低是， 就是你打好基础关系的时候了。因为其他的assistants不会把你当一回事。。。你跟他们可以是朋友。 makan minum bersama。。。但是你得多多观察， 谁，做什么，怎样做。。。多多发问， 他们会乐意跟你说很多内幕。。。可能你在他们身上学到的远远多过坐在办公室里。

2. 没有比较的空的department。。。看起来在不忙的地方，还是很忙。。。只是那些工作不能给职位低的人做。

3. 人际关系 - 学习跟什么人讲什么话。 不是每个人都可以用同一句话差遣

4. 什么都得学。药，器材，gas。。。当有一天，你坐上了那个位子， 你才来学， 那时候你身边的下属都会骗你，试探你。。。要是让他们发现你没有料， 你就注定被他们吃定！


楼下的叔叔，阿姨， 隔壁办公室的， 都跟我说她很厉害， 骗不过的！
然后她会跟自己下属道歉， 非常谦虚！

暖暖的~~~在这种环境， 还有个老板会比你早到，比你迟回， 然后不会骂你， 跟你对到眼会主动对你笑， 明知道你没事做还是会叫你去break， 太感动了！
#shegaveusapenandanotebookeachbeforeleaving
#bossiamwillingtoworkunder

Funny moment is when Ur Fren came to complain abt Ur crush when u were young....
Lucky me
For not knowing this side of his.

OMGGGGG
finally i felt how it should feel being treated as a colleague of theirs
i guess this is the truth
when they see ur name beside theirs, the first concern is if u can do work and reduce their burden
then when they know u can work with them, they will treat u nicely
不懂是不是”现实” 的写照

talked to a senior
asked me y i am still single
replied "bo lang ai"
his reaction was jz too funny!!!!!!!but really made me reflect! hahahaha
funniest part is when he asked me to look around, "can u take any of these guys?"
hahahahahahahahahhahahahaahah
#thanksforaskingmetothinkfrommyparentsperspective
#thanksfortreatingmeasifiamurdaughter

working weekend again~

i am not satisfied by doing manual work!!!!!which could be done by anyone not being qualified as a professional (not trying to belittle this group of people, in fact, i respect them more than my own colleagues)
what i am saying is that i cant expect myself to do the same chores as them then feel inferior coz i wont be able to perform better than they do.
BECAUSE it's abt habituation! if it is manual work and u do it longer, u will be able to finish it fast and accurate like a robot!!!!!
BUTTTTT, this is not what i see myself doing HERE!
there must be some expectations and promises this opportunity is going to offer! come on!!!! i waited so long for it ! i didnt wat for nth, did i?
YESSSSSS, i am having trouble bridging the gap between my expectations and the reality here.
It's not anyone's fault that this gap exists or when this gap is actually getting bigger with time!
conditions and circumstances jz make it into what the reality is now!
However, i made lots of sacrifice and effort to get into where i am standing now
AM NOT GONNA QUIT WITH EMPTY HANDS!
I am responsible for my own learning!
they are not teaching, nvm! Learning from them isnt the only way to learn!
there are tonnes of ways to learn , why must I rely on them when they are not willing to??!
JUST skip ur excuses! You are responsible for ur own learning!!!!!
jia you!!!!

其实，现在嘲讽你的那些人，也只不过是想用另种方式来吸引你的注意
为何一定要Satisfy / impress them with Ur reaction?
U can choose to smile n ignore
Because u should focus on Ur own development

17/7/17

Is meant to be a special day.
Turned out that it was an ordinary day
But was a happy one. Grateful

我需要把重心拉回自己身上
未来我想变成怎样的人，今天我就得耕耘
别在乎身边的人如何评价
做好自己。。。因为我输不起未来
这些人只在你人生出现一会儿， 而你，因为被distracted所以赔上未来，值得吗？
我有梦想，我对自己有所期待
不管未来如何，这一刻，请对得起一路为了那个未来而奋斗了数十载的自己
不曾容易，但也不曾放弃
加油
#avoidcontact
#donotneedtoimpress
#bethebestthatucanbecozuneedachancetoshine
#ucandoit

"If you are nothing without the suit, you dont deserve it."

First outing with my colleagues~
watched Spiderman and had really nice dinner together
really grateful to have them. if i am going through this alone, i might go into depression seriously!
hahaha
long to go to finish this.....but we will be parted if we are finished here....
jz need to treassure our time together

"If you are nothing without the suit, you dont deserve it."
If the past was what defined the current me,
If that was all about me,
If I am only just that ...............................
I worked hard for tens of years in order to earn that opportunity
YES, i made it and i am still proud tat i did!
BUT THEY ARE ALL MY PAST NOW!
if i am only good once in my life, i am good for nth!
i need to work hard now to achieve what i expect for myself in the next 10-20 years
things never come to me easy,
if i can keep going and stop complaining, that's wat make me stronger than me at the moment
I need to ignore the rest and do a good job in what i expect myself to be good at

when i was given the greatest opportunity to learn, i felt stressful about it
Now tat i lost the chance, i felt regretful about it.
anyway, it's fate, i cant control if tat opportunity is mine!
However, compared to feeling regretful tat i miss an opportunity, I would rather feel stressful and learn sth
Hopefully this gave me a lesson too.....if there is a next time, at least i wont feel too stressful about having an opportunity

今早终于鼓起勇气多说话
一个年轻帅帅的病人先greeted 我
平时非常不耐烦的医生跟我开玩笑
(原来他也不是那么糟的人)
犯错时只被严厉地讲，但没被羞辱
虽然被讲得很凶， 但是她肯带我教我(真是万幸，只希望下次她看到我跟她同shift不会马上就换掉。。呵呵)
然后让个病人等了大概10分钟才发现有问题，可是我道歉后她也说对不起我那么忙还打扰我
(最有礼貌的，永远不是拥有很多的)
同事很礼貌客气地原谅我的失误(也不能用真的不懂来justify每个失误呀。。。赶快学!)

反正今天有好多好事。。。感恩
明天开始，24小时待命一个星期
好了，接下来一个星期会睡很少，现在先睡了!
加油!!!!不恐惧，勇敢面对，日子会变好的!

Second half of the year
First night shift of the month
Stressed!
So much to learn, so little time to learn....
Jia you!
Glad to hv learnt sth new during the shift though!

工作后的周末

好不容易

挨到了周末

结果生病了

咳嗽，肚子不舒服

昏昏沉沉睡了又醒，醒了又睡

然后，有精神开工时已是晚上9点

才发现，一天，没吃任何东西

冲了凉，特别懒了， 就下楼买burger好了

想起了大学的宵夜burger

为什么这颗burger味道不如那颗？

呵呵。。。大概病时都会想舒服开心时的感受吧

anyway， tonnes of work 

开工！

身邊的朋友能陪我多久呢
安慰的話也聽膩了
反覆在勇敢和崩潰中拉扯
我吶喊要自己 撐著

--------------------葛大為

低调。。。多做事
安静

冷静点
别做对你不利的事

First time to fail in my life
hahaha...was actually thinking abt failing the first time back in my uni time
i mean, no matter how hard it was in the past, i jz could mange it
this time......language is really my biggest challenge noww
haizzz......quite embarassed of myself
TT

我很幸福。。。真的

stressed到半死，

不过还是幸福

#blueberrymuffin

日子只会越来越好
加油！！！！！
每天1点中午， 4.30下午雨倾盆而下是怎样？
@@

first week was completely bullshit!
i dont feel the respect i think i deserve(not even the one i used to have when i was a student)
jia you!

this week, it's gonna be amazing!
coz i am prepared to be "functional"
or at least, some goals are set!
i will do fine this week!
jia you!!! never give up!

又一个两年
新城市
希望一切安好
学!
用!
服务～～～

Nervousness
Y is today boxing day shopping compulsory?
#wishmeluck

So............
GOT IT finally
But y am I not feeling happy?
#tootired

人生嘛
很多，无法控制
很多，说来就来，也没管你意愿
唉。。。难
接受难。。。
难接受。。。
TT

真的不要说等怎样怎样才做想做的
因为故事后来发展未必是你想象得到的
那当你真走了那一步，发现跟你想得差好远
那就真的好难接受
不如，一开始，走自己的路
哪怕并没有条康庄大道
哪怕需要砍径斩棘
至少一路无怨无悔，没什么是意想不到的
因为一开始就没想过是轻松的

#不能控制就随他

你很爱我，
但是你的表现让我很讨厌

我很爱你，
但是我不愿意因为爱你就依你

难!
我希望你用我希望的方式爱我
你没办法连爱我也得问我喜不喜欢你爱我
#拜托请赐我智慧
#再多的感情都会被磨光
#活得不自由
#救救我

终于。。。
做了决定
离开!
#一定要过上更好的生活

讲个故事
从我工作开始， 我认识了这位邻居
每天，除了同事， 就是和她吃午饭
因为有她， 我大概没有一个人吃饭过
每天，少过一个小时，讲些时事政治新闻
鲜少聊到自己
我只知道她是位母亲
今天， 突然间，讲了她家人病了的事
突然觉得，平时看见的她原来每天压力那么大
原来成就她的乐观的， 是无数的无奈与痛苦
突然觉得对她很抱歉。。。因为也在她面前抱怨过很多的小事
#健康真的最重要

如果我的快乐你只占小部分， 我的痛苦全都是你， 对不起，我得自私一次!
做人难!
我懦弱了那么久，是时候面对
其实，是自欺欺人了太久。。。
几年前就看到的问题。。。现在还是问题
为什么？ 因为，总选择逃避
别骗自己了。。。会变没错， 是变本加厉的变
#考情商

必须悲痛的承认。。。
不在你身边， 我活得特别精彩
如果有选择， 我希望为自己努力一次
因为， 我deserve my own happiness
Even though it is a major defect that it doesnt come from you.
我。。。坚强!
别因为一句不值得的语言暴力， 变回不自信，自卑的自己。。。
要不然就枉费了这两年的历练
生活不就是长智慧吗？
加油
一个人得更坚强！

养儿一百岁，长憂九十九
享受的同时，又有点困扰
大概，如果有下一代， 会放养吧
就像那对父女一样
一起报名旅游团，却爸爸玩爸爸的， 女儿玩女儿的
有时会想， 那爸爸大概是不放心跟来的
东方西方，做人父母的都一样吧
只是渴望多一点自由， 但又犯贱选择不要自由
#没什么
#开心就好

好累。。。
明日复明日
我人生不会就这样等完了吧？
T T
又是，另个五天
加油!!!!
这五天要活得健康，精彩!!!!

环境不好， 凸显了周遭人们的好
因为我们这群人没拥有什么， 所以少了算计，嫉妒，
甚至其实惺惺相惜。。。
有时候，更把对方的牺牲， 生活上的不容易，辛苦看在眼里

同时的， 因为我不站在高处往这群人看，
我活在这群人中， 所以我们的关系会好
因为关系单纯， 我只需要在这群人中互相帮忙，完成工作就好。。。不需要评估谁工作的好，谁做的少
也因为我不介意做的稍微多点， 所以没太大的利益冲突， 关系才那么好

特别感激他们时不时的伸出援手。。。虽然我没actively接受过， 但是the fact that I am being supported keeps me moving forward fearlessly.
不知不觉， 进入第五个月。。。。
我都觉得不可思议了。。。。做得好呀！感恩!

如果同一群人，环境变好， 条件变好， 我相信感情就会相对的薄吧!

环境再差， 人会适应
非常骄傲，适应了
但是同时的， 适应了就应该是时候离开了
刚开始， 是挑战， 觉得自己做不到。。。
所以硬着头皮铁着心，一定要在逆境活下来
然后时间久了， 适应了， 变成comfort zone 了
如果继续呆下去， 恐怕就变成鸵鸟了
终于明白， 为什么有人选择这份工，过一辈子
因为适应了苦，因为苦也活下来了， 所以就不想冒险了
真的， 再呆下去， 就一辈子了
#我要离开!
#我不喜欢安逸在很烂的环境
#然后告诉自己活得下去就不算烂了

I need some luck now
Really really need it
Had done wat I should
Really hate waiting
If, the worst thing happens, pls, keep believing in urself.
Never give up and keep moving....For u know, life is a journey of uncertainty.
Be courageous!
Face it, deal with it and be happy.
#命运
#注定要坚强

我等到花儿也谢了

干了的满天星很迷人

#itisboilinginside

#快到达我的底线

#老娘不想忍了

非常郁闷
TT
讨厌等待
讨厌现在的生活
活得不精彩
非常不爽，但是不选择离开
讨厌自由不了的自己
或许。。。我的自由年代真的过了

Had just finished my 5am-to-2pm routine

Today, as it was the last day, someone came at 6am, when I was awake but still unconscious. As usual, my programmed reflex kicked started.

Me :" morning, miss. Bla bla bla bla bla....... May I know which package do you prefer to take?"

Normally, ppl would say "the free one" or "the basic one".

She replied, "the default one."

Obviously, she is an engineer. Ya right, was at an engineering company.

*it is SENSITIVE*

When I was young, every educator in my life told me to mingle with ppl, to make lots of friends, to learn of diff cultures and most importantly, to not be judgmental
Nevertheless, I was sent to an environment where it is unilateral

When I grew up, I then got my first chance to actually get an insight into the real multiracial society of our country.
I didn't do well at first, because I felt the barriers.........Cultural one and social one
But I managed to make friends though
With a few episodes of quarrel due to misunderstanding and inability to understand other languages.

Later, I got a chance to see the bigger picture of the world. I observed the acceptance and openness ppl hv on differences among individuals. And I saw how this group of ppl with no dominant grew and succeeded in things they were doing.

Then I grew old enough to get into the society.  I did particularly well at my workplace.
If there is only one people of my race the other races can remember, I would say at least 70% of them would mention me.
Then I get weird stares, jealous looks from ppl of my race.

Just want to say,
1. I was brought up by great educators ! Thankful for that.
2. Just stop and think for a while. Why the discriminating look? Are you really superior? What makes u so?
3. This SENSITIVE issue will drown us and our future. I am educated in this way to be a person like me because I am extremely lucky. If you are not as lucky as me, why not stop ignoring it by saying it is SENSITIVE? learn abt it now because it will save yours and ur own kids' future.

*DO NOT SEE HOW IT IS SENSITIVE WHEN THE ISSUE IS PLAYED AGAIN AND AGAIN ON MEDIA.*

Patient:"I really salute you gals....You gals mist be very patient to be in your line. You are in a very special line. I always wonder how it is to be in your shoes."

He asked where did I graduate from. Then asked if the cafeteria is ran by Sodexo too (as the factory I visited today is) because he visited before and remembered it was Sodexo. I said yes and we started a conversation comparing the food back in my uni n those in the factory. LOL
*uncle, you must be kidding me to complain abt food at urs. It is so damn cheap!!*

He asked for our names and said "XX, thank you very much. Thank you for conducting ECG for me and thank you for all the troubles"

P/s: sometimes, I think this is the meaning of continue staying at a position that doesn't suit you. There are jz reasons for you to continue the fight no matter how hard it is gonna be.

Greeted by these robots early morning. Dunno why, jz got attracted for no reason. Never interested in these robotic creatures though. Was thinking, this must be a world made up by 1% of everything? So what can this robotic 1% do in my world? 

#curiosity

#innovation 

When you are bored with wat u do on daily basis
When the only motivation for you to continue working is the salary
Probably it is time ......For.....A change
For a risky turn
Or maybe for a rest ?

看是非常漂亮的城市

但是真住里面却没想象中美好

没事就塞车

到达目的地跟下车可以隔个半小时

出去吃个午饭都要排长队

周末mall里超拥挤

#我比较适合当村姑

一群领导。。。在一个event上看场
我在工作，突然来了个精神没那么正常的病人
这些领导从四面八方， 有位最高领导,50++, 从大概200米的地方连跑带跳冲过来
全挡在我面前


另个event
有个同事讲话大声工没在做
对我们大声当众喊
Manager 在旁边当旅客


用人就得负责人家的工作安稳，安全还有保护整个team的和谐
#不愿意为不值得的人卖命

自己的快乐自己负责
想念，自由!

Reminded me of the castles in Germany 

Officially 25
So what changes?
Confidence
Bitchy-er
And, treasure relationships better

Most valuable player
 If I am in doubt again

Am really grateful for all the experience I hv that makes me into myself today
When I myself feel my own difference
If I were not given a chance, this won't happen
Yes, life is extremely tough, but it is at the same time awesome! For the hardship overcome, for the challenges took up, for the little change I see that happened over a long period of time
Jia youuuuuuuu

Ok, it was done
I am drained
Hope for the best!

When the long awaited moment comes,
U start to act weird
#thingscomewhenuleastexpectthemto

一个人跟一家人，真的差好多好多
加油!

公司最底层
我当他成朋友，好队友
他钱包里只有10块
有个乞丐敲敲车镜， 他掏出了5块
我都不想给， 因为自己都不够用了
但是两个孩子的爸的他， 毫不犹豫

公司高层
工作上就很刻薄，欺善怕恶
总认为她是因为坐哪个位子而变那样的人
结果私底下更抠，一毛不拔
我当她就纯属上司， 交友网站全谢绝了

#拥有的不多的人更懂分享
#学习的对象未必一定只有上头
#珍惜社会给我上的每一课
#要当怎样的人我自己决定

用人就得信人

七年来新低
#50.5

There was this course abt coping with stress right b4 I graduated
Can still remember how impatient I was to sit in
But it was in fact the only support I hv since graduating
Thanks a lot, my alma mater! You hv really prepared me in different aspects for the poor society life
So glad tat I was educated in this aspect. If it wasn't of this course, I wouldn't hv gone this far too
Most importantly, today wouldn't be so much fun if it wasn't bcoz I recalled some theories
#一个人的时候就是克服的时候

我会赚回自己的理想生活!
#好可悲的购物

被人家太容易就offer job别太开心

黑暗的，没职业道德的一陷进去，是连自己的名誉也配上的

做人真的不能太单纯简单

因为一不注意，一步， 就掉进了坑

感叹生活之不容易，社会之阴险

真的好可怕

加油!!!!!!只是个transition!

我不懂日子怎么变得现在这番滋味
就是，从来没想过的，偏离核心的
或许，我真的会越走越远。。。
没试过，真不知道结局如何
过去，责任总比开心重要
现在，觉得责任开心一样重要
未来。。。。。。
加油